Yesterday I went to a prison to visit a man who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer less than 3 weeks ago. I sat in his “hospital” room in the prison and looked at him from eye to eye about 2 feet away. Here is a man who I have met with a few times before and he was a tough man. A man who has made some poor decisions and ended up in some bad places and had the edge that comes with that kind of life. He knows prison and how to survive there. He knows how to handle himself. Yet as we talked yesterday, those same eyes that once showed strength, were not the same. I looked into the eyes of a scared man. A man who felt guilty. A man who is sad. A man with regret. I saw that just in his eyes before he spoke.
As I drove home, I prayed for him on lots of fronts. I praised God that I was able to offer him hope and forgiveness in the person of Jesus. I also reflected on my own life. When death is looking me eye to eye and when I have nothing but the voices in my own head looking at all my life. What will I feel? What will I regret? What will people see my eyes? I thought…..teach me to number my days Lord, that I might live wisely.
That’s amazing! I always thought that numbering your days meant living each day as it comes, but I never considered the full meaning of that phrase!! I never really tried hard enough to do that though, when you couple that with all the other stuff that preoccupies my mind.